Crossed
by scarlet phlame
Summary: L has found himself in an... interesting position.


AN: Totally ridiculous sketch I did when I was bored, decided to put it together. Hope you enjoy it, and please R&R!

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Lance, Matt, Natalie, and Anna were sitting on the pouted lip of a riverbank, watching a heavy brine of water course through the mighty, mourning trenches.

"That was a really boring sentence," Matt said.

"Oh, Godcat," Anna sighed, propping up her chin on the palm of her hand, elbow crooked. "I wish something would come and attack us. Life is so boring."

"Maybe we could eat random, rotting things," Lance suggested, "and get sick and die again."

They all stared at him.

"If I have to listen to you guys talk any more, then I think I might just take Lance's advice," Natalie ground out, after a moment.

Anna sighed and traced a picture into the sand. Matt leaned over her shoulder to see what she was doing, and she promptly punched him in the face. He recoiled with a shout of pain.

"Hey! What was that for?"

"Breathing down my neck. I hate it when people look over my shoulder," Anna muttered.

"Fine. What are you drawing?"

"It's this guy from this anime, Death Note. He's supposed to be, like, super smart," she explained, delving her pinky into the sand and pressing an indented eye in. She completed the face and hair, and drew in the letter 'L'.

Then she disappeared.

"Uhh, guys? Anna just disappeared," Matt shrieked, feet rooted to the ground, staring at the place where Anna had been crouching.

"Cool," Natz said.

And then a man stepped into the clearing.

He wore an expression that screamed boredom. He took another step forward- towards them- and Matt noticed he was undeniably barefoot in the woods. Clad in a baggy white t-shirt and incredibly dorky, even baggier jeans, the guy looked like something straight out of a fangirl's anime. Maybe he was. Maybe this was another weird Pokemon cameo moment, or something.

"Interesting," he muttered, his voice fogging in the freezing air.

"Hullo," Natz said.

"Howd'you-" Lance started, but the man cut him off.

"I was just on my way to get a jellied donut... how odd," the man muttered, scratching the back of his neck and glancing around with huge eyes. "Could it be that this is Kira's doing?"

"There are no Kiras here," Natalie said, standing rigid in disbelief. "Go away. Don't kill us. Uh, please?"

"I see. Perhaps a temporal disruption... no, can't be. I must say, this is a very fascinating anomaly," the man continued.

"What's your name?" Natalie asked.

(I see no harm in sharing my identity with them... after all, they seem genuinely shocked at my appearance. They might be able to help me. When I mentioned Kira, they seemed more concerned about me than about the name or how I'd gotten here. Maybe...)

"I am L," L said.

"IML? What does that stand for?" Matt blurted. "Are you like an agent or something?"

Lance snapped his fingers. "I've got it! He's a self insert or something!"

"Ooh, I know! He's an OC!" Natz declared. "I mean, come on! The face? It's obvious he's really excited-"

(I look excited?)

"-but he's trying to look bored."

"Yeah," Lance agreed. "Yeah! I mean, he sorta looks like a panda. Cute panda."

(I... look like a panda?)

"Too much eyeliner, buddy," Matt sighed.

"No, I am not a panda, I am L, a part of the police investigation headquarters for Kira. Do any of you know how I appeared here?" L asked what was possibly the strangest thing he'd ever said.

"Nope!" they all chorused.

(Well, it's obvious they know nothing... they're much too cheerful. And stupid. Either that, or they're purposely playing dumb to mislead me, and I'm playing right into their hands by underestimating them. However, it seems unlikely that-)

"Can you stop thinking so loud?" Matt blurted. "You're making my head hurt."

"Yeah," Natalie agreed. "He's like, Mr. Walking Dictionary. That walks. Do you walk?"

"Huh," L muttered. He sighed, crooking his thumb and forefinger and raking a hand through his hair.

(In any case, it seems unlikely they know anything.)

He let his hand drop to his side.

(Perhaps-)

L froze.

Then looked down.

"Hmm... interesting," he mused, taking a step towards... it. It moved with him, much like jello, inauspiciously leering back at him, and he gulped. Supernatural... things he couldn't explain always unnerved him a bit, stoked up his fascination. Then again, he was L, the greatest detective in the world. He explained the unexplainable. He rationalized the unrationable.

"What are you looking at?" Natalie asked.

"There seems to be a..." he paused, "...an ellipsis under my feet. And a box, detailing everything I'm saying."

"Oh. You mean the speech bubble," Matt exclaimed. "It's, like, this box that says what we're saying. You know, since we aren't really talking. We're just making little pinging noises."

...L had a good explanation for this one, now.

(I'm in a bad crossover fanfiction. It's the only rational explanation.)


End file.
